This is the beginning of my eighth week of day work. I'm finally getting used to putting a tie on every morning for the first time in nearly a decade and 5:30AM isn't as evil as it used to be (it's still plenty evil; don't get the idea that I'm singing in the shower or anything). But the move has brought challenges which have not yet been fully addressed.
For those of you who may not know, my move from nights came about because of our move from an IBM AS/400 to a newer, Windows 2000 Server-based software package. I knew that AS/400 like the back of my hand. When it gave me an error (which was not very often), I knew exactly what to do. It was like a tank---not pretty, but well-designed for its purpose and tough as nails. When lightning struck our old building one night and the UPS (uninterruptable power supply) ran out of juice, the old girl blacked out in the middle of a process. When I restarted her (quite a long process), she took up right where she left off....no errors, no BSODs, nothing. If I could've wrapped my arms around her (our AS/400 is about the size of a refrigerator laid on its side), I would've given her a hug.
Our new system is much faster, has a cool point-and-click interface and is quickly earning fans among the people who used to use the AS/400. Problem is, I still don't know much about it. I use it every day, but its secrets remain just that. I feel lost, as if I am a brand-new employee. I know this will pass and I will, eventually, be very knowledgeable about things, but everyone in the know is still way too busy to show me anything. What I know about PCs and networking I learned the hard way: break it and then fix it. That works well when you're at someone's house fooling around with a router and a few PCs; here, downtime costs money and it not well-tolerated.
It's been a long time since I've felt this helpless; I guess part of that feeling stems from the fact that so many people outside of my department saw me as this scary sort of genius guy who was going to ride in on a horse and instantly know what the hell was going on. When it comes to the PC support side of things, I do know my stuff. Unfortunately, that's only about 10% of what I do. I can't help but think that I have let some people down, even though their expectations may have been a little unreasonable and based on a skill set that I and the company no longer need.
Of course, I realize that part of this is also based on my oversized ego. I want to be the smartest guy in the room, even though, lately, I'm not always the smartest guy in my cubicle. I like being around people who can teach me new things and throw challenges my way. But when the footing on which my new knowledge will be based is still shaky, I can't help but be a little worried.
Posted by Matthew at April 12, 2004 09:09 AM
It's a good thing to have new challenges come your way. Even when they take you out of your comfort zone. It allows you to grow and keeps life from getting dull. With that said, It's still a huge pain in the ass and you feel helpless during your learning period. I'm sure in do time you'll be the smartest guy in your cubicle.;)
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