I'm in a playful mood tonight and, to be honest, I need a break from bitchin' about politics. So, I thought I'd share some of the things I've learned from watching commercials on TV. I don't watch much TV, so you could probably do better than me here. Feel free to add your own observations:
1. If I love my children (if we had children), I will buy an SUV.
2. Men with good hair are powerful, sexually and economically.
3. Children are smarter than adults in all situations.
4. Overweight white men are stupid, lazy and inconsiderate. ALL of them.
5. All men who suffer from sexual dysfunction are incredibly good-looking.
6. If you're a woman, you aren't taking enough pills. Pills=happiness.
7. Only thin people eat at McDonald's.
8. Anything that contains lettuce is a salad. ANYTHING.
9. If you're eating carbs, the terrorists have won.
My name is Matt, and I approved this message.
Posted by Matthew at August 12, 2004 08:35 PMAs for #4: Did you get that from commericials, or is that still distaste lingering in your mouth from Michael Moore's latest film?
Just kidding, of course!
*ducks from the liberals*
Posted by: Tony at August 12, 2004 08:58 PMYou mean Michael "3 Whoppers" Moore? Naaaahhhh ;-)
Posted by: Matt at August 13, 2004 08:24 AMMatt, were you talking about the Di-tech guy LOL!
Posted by: Shawn at August 13, 2004 12:27 PMI got these from commercials:
1. It is proper etiquitte to stop off for breakfast before picking up everyone in your carpool, provided that you eat and enjoy your breakfast blisfully in front of them while they drool. (McD's)
2. If you do not put sheets on your mattress, your stunningly beautiful wife will wear lingerie and socks, and will have a grin rivaling that of Warrant's lead singer in the Cherry Pie video.
3. Men openly discuss erectile dysfunction with friends, and the medicine they use to "enhance" themselves. (enzyte)
4. MY video vending machine will allow me to announce my retirement at age 3. When they did it in the 80's they did it wrong, and they fixed all that.
5. People will surf for porn in an airport terminal or fast-food restaurant.
Enjoy the buffet, I'll be here all week.
My name is Troy, and I didn't approve shit.
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