Opaque Lucidity

As Time Goes By

One of my sisters' in-laws are getting ready to move into an assisted care facility. They are both 80 and it is becoming increasingly difficult for them to take care of each other and their home. The saddest thing about the situation is that they've only been in their current home for about three years.

My mother will be 70 in November; my dad is 73. I know that within the next decade, my siblings and I may be having that talk---the one wherein you tell your parents that they need to go live with people who can keep an eye on them. In other words, you tell them that they need a babysitter. You tell the people who changed your diapers, read you bedtime stories and made sure your hair was combed that they are becoming children again. Nice.

I broached this subject with my dad on Sunday and his response was that they would stay in their current home until they could no longer do the basics: drive, do laundry, etc. I told him that I could take care of the yard with no problems, but much of the house maintanence would need to be hired out. That's hard for me to imagine, a repairman of some sort knocking on my parents' front door. Growing up, I didn't know that people hired plumbers, electricians and carpenters. Dad was an electrician by trade, but he had learned many trades out of necessity or personal interest.

Then he told me that their home's central air unit was going to need replacing before next summer, since it will be 30 years old. This is a job he would normally do himself, but he told me that he planned on hiring a neighbor, who does heating and cooling work for a living, to help him because, as he put it, "I just want someone there because I'm beginning to doubt my abilities." That's tough to hear coming from the man who always seemed like he knew everything. Even now, I'm amazed by his near-encyclopedic knowledge of many subjects.

There is more of this in the future. It's not fun.