Opaque Lucidity

You Have Been...

There's a great scene in the movie 'Tombstone' in which Turkey Creek Johnson turns to Doc Holliday (who is in the middle of hacking up a lung) and says something like:

Johnson: "Doc, you've got no business being out here. Why do you do it?"
Holliday: "Because Wyatt Earp is my friend."
Johnson: "Hell, I've got lots of friends."

Then there's a long pause before Holliday responds:

"I don't."

I have written here before about my definition of the term 'friend' because I believe it is overused. The truth is that many people use 'friend' when they mean 'acquaintance'. They see friends as people with whom you work or drinking buddies. Often, that is the extent of the relationship.

I've always thought friends to be people who know me well enough to predict my actions or know when I'm angry, sad, excited or happy just by hearing my voice. They are loyal, a quality that seems to be lacking in many modern 'friendships'. They make me want to be my best self by challenging my present being. They do not have to be physically close; most of the people who I call friends live far away. But even if we don't speak for months, there is no loss of continuity. They are in my thoughts daily.

So there are not many people who I consider friends. That's not to say there aren't people around me who are nice and fun to be around. But the people who have taken that next step are rare. And I've done a pretty crappy job of staying in touch with them. You know who you are.

I realized tonight, as Kelli and I had dinner with two friends, that I have been taking so many wonderful people for granted. I have let the craziness of everyday life steer me away from phone calls and thoughtful e-mails. But nothing is worth losing touch.

I will do better, because you are worth it and I would not be the person I am without you.