Opaque Lucidity

Don't Think So Much

I've never been to any sort of mental health expert for therapy. There are probably people I know who would say this is a bad thing, that I am a bundle of contradictions and hypocrisies. But this year has taught me something important: it is not good for a grown man to sit at home without a job and with lots of physical limitations.

My father has lived through three devastating floods in the Ohio Valley: 1937, 1945, and 1964. Each time, his family had to leave their home to escape the rising waters. Each time, they came home to mud, debris and potential disease. FEMA didn't send a trailer. And as is now common, no psychiatrist came by to diagnose PTSD or depression. As dad says, "Therapy was a shovel."

I have spent two months having a lot of free mental time on my hands. This is not good. While I believe we all need to slow down sometimes and enjoy the scenery, too much personal introspection is not healthy. In fact, I believe it's narcissistic. Have you ever wondered why so many people in Hollywood see therapists? So they can make the world about them.

There is a genuine need for mental health professionals and maybe I just don't want to deal with things. But I know that I am much happier when I don't have much free time and my days are consumed by thinking about something other than my place in the world.