Opaque Lucidity

And Yet, A Fishing License

All mammals have a biological imperative that points them towards reproduction. As humans, we are not immune from this drive, although it normally expresses itself as the urge to...well...mate. Be that as it may, it has come time to recognize the fact that many Americans should not be allowed to have children. I've only jokingly talked about this topic with people because to talk about it seriously brings accusations of a denial of basic human rights.

Well, too damn bad.

You know people who should not be parents, and yet, they are raising one or more small humans who are going to become wards of the state, strippers/prostitutes, bank robbers, murderers and rapists. Despite a disastrous upbringing, many children become responsible, productive adults who go on to raise responsible, productive children. Sadly, I do not believe these people represent the majority of those raised in a home that should not contain a child.

I'm not one of those people who believes all adult problems stem from an improper upbringing. But it is undeniable that our parents make a strong impression on us when we are the most impressionable. Our beliefs, biases, and many other characteristics are strongly influenced because of, or in spite of, our mothers and fathers. Almost every person found guilty of child abuse was abused as a child. We all know the sullen, low-talking, teenage boy who is a pain to be around, right? Go look at his dad----there's something wrong there.

If we can require people to pass a test in order to drive a car, we can certainly come up with a system that would show who amongst us would make at least adequate parents. I'm only half joking here. I'm not for banning Americans from having children without a license; instead, I propose that only those with a child license be given the right to receive a child deduction on their taxes. If you want to run out and make a baby, that's fine----it's just going to cost more in the long run. Why is this fair? Simply, if you are not qualified to be a parent, your children are more likely to cost the taxpayers extra money in terms of housing, welfare and care-taking in the prison system.

Of course, the qualifications to become a licensed parent would never be agreed upon by any legislative body, so it's never going to happen in this country. But wouldn't it be great if you could look at that yelling harpy pulling her kids around in Wal-Mart at midnight on a Saturday and know that she's paying more on April 15th than you?