Opaque Lucidity

Bad Ink

Getting a tattoo in a shady parlor can evidently ruin your whole life. Whodathunkit?

I don't understand the current ink craze in this country. Tattoos have been around for thousands of years, but in this country, the have mainly been applied to veterans, motorcycles gang members and prisoners. But now they seem to be everywhere, especially on women. And at the risk of sounding sexist, that bothers me.

Don't get me wrong: I don't think there's anything wrong with a small tattoo on the ankle or shoulder blade or someplace only your husband sees. But when a man sees a large tattoo right above a woman's rear end, he is only thinking one thing (and I'm not going to mention it here). Self-expression? Sure. But there are a lot of ways to express oneself without having to resort to permanent mutilation.

The Visitor No One Wants

I meant to write about this some weeks ago, but time and mood have kept me from it. About a month ago, I traveled to one of our branch offices for the uninspiring task of helping close it down. It was several hours' drive from here, so I went on the afternoon before the movers were to arrive so I could take down their small network early in the morning and still be home at a decent hour.

The branch was in a small town and, for lack of anything better to do, I drove around for a while after I checked into the hotel. As I drove past a small store on the town's main street, something caught my eye: a rectangular bumper sticker with a red border and a star in the center. These stickers signify that the person driving the vehicle has a family member serving overseas. You may have seen them hanging in the windows of homes now and again. They date back to the Second World War. There are two types of flags: one with a blue star, meaning that the person is currently serving; and a gold star, meaning that the person has died. On the back of that Ford Ranger in front of a little store in a little town in Kentucky, the star was gold.

I had never seen a gold star in person. I didn't see the person driving the truck, so I don't know if he or she was a father, mother, brother, sister, etc., and I guess it doesn't matter. Just like in the old days, a military death means that an officer comes to the door to tell the family that their son or daughter or father or mother is never coming home again. They come at all hours, whenever the news arrives, under the assumption that the family should know as soon as possible. Imagine hearing your doorbell ring at 3 in the morning and finding a uniformed military officer on your porch. I don't think you get over that.

I was reminded of that gold star today when I saw this article on Hugh Hewitt's site. Please take a moment, read the article and watch the various slideshows. Regardless of how you feel about the war, sacrifices for our nation should always be honored.

Family And Shop Talk

My brother Jerry and his family arrived this evening from Texas. On Thursday, my brother Ken and his family will arrive from Virginia. As siblings, we have not all been together since early 2004, when my dad had one of his kidneys removed. As a complete family (wives/husbands and children), we have not been together since September, 2001. The only people missing this time will be our niece Katie and her fiancee Matt. They will missed. Maybe we'll photoshop them into the photo later ;-)

I mention this to let you know that my posts may be thinner than usual for the rest of this week. It will be difficult enough to do a podcast every other day and something has to give. Since the podcast is downloaded thousands of times a day and only about 50 people read this blog, the blog will have to suffer. I'll do what I can.

As most of you know, I require anyone who comments on this blog to either register with Type Key or wait until I have a chance to read and approve the comment. Lately, I have become very lazy about checking for new comments; for this reason, PLEASE take a moment and register for a free Type Key account if you have not done so yet. All you have to do is click on the "comments" link at the bottom of any of my posts and follow the "sign in" instructions. Once at the Type Key page, you will see a link which will allow you to set up and account.

Later this week, I will be posting the entire text of the Declaration of Independence. I believe it's healthy for all of us to read it at least once a year---it helps remind us of the great risks these men took to create this nation.

"What A Piece Of..."

Remember that scene in 'Office Space' when the guys kick the crap out of the fax machine in that field? Well, they've got nuthin' on this guy. Make sure you listen to the entire video...the last line is priceless.

Return Of The Crazy Woman

Oh, man. This woman is just begging for a blowtorch and a pair of pliers.

WWRD?

I have this weird like/dislike thing going on with John McCain. One the one hand, he's the real thing: a genuine war hero who, when offered an early release from a North Vietnamese POW camp because his father was an admiral, refused on the grounds that all POWs would be released or none of them (all POWs were obligated to give this response as per their orders from senior POWs----that didn't make it any easier, I'm sure). He speaks his mind, even when it gets him into trouble with his own party. He has stood by President Bush with regard to the war in Iraq even though it would've been very easy to put some distance between himself and the White House.

But he's also in love with media attention, a condition that can become the worst kind of addiction. I believe he likes his status as a maverick because, most of the time, it makes him a darling of the Sunday morning talk show circuit. I fear that he believes the good will he generates with the leftist media now will continue if he wins the Republican nomination. Even a friendly scorpion is still a scropion. And I can't forget the role he played as a member of the Keating Five.

But then I read something like this and it makes me want to see him succeed because, by God, the Republicans need a guy like this. His message: stop spending money like it's going out of style and get your house in order. THIS is what the party of Lincoln and Reagan should be about, not just presenting another way to spend too much money. We don't need TWO spendaholic parties on Capitol Hill.

If McCain wins the Republican nomination in 2008 (a likely possibility since no one else can even begin to touch Hillary unless she does something incredibly stupid between now and then), there will be a great deal of soul-searching on the right in this country. The Senator has been demonized by the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Michael Medved, but if he's the only man on their side of the ticket, what are they going to do? Change parties?

NOT The Neil Diamond Song

Pacific Ocean (June 22, 2006) - A Standard Missile Three (SM-3) is launched from the guided missile cruiser USS Shiloh (CG 67) during a joint Missile Defense Agency, U.S. Navy ballistic missile flight test. Two minutes later, the SM-3 intercepted a separating ballistic missile threat target, launched from the Pacific Missile Range Facility, Barking Sands, Kauai, Hawaii. The test was the seventh intercept, in eight program flight tests, by the Aegis Ballistic Missile Defense. The maritime capability is designed to intercept short to medium-range ballistic missile threats in the midcourse phase of flight. U.S. Navy photo (RELEASED)

Ummmm....F*** Yeah!!!!

Remember The Pacific

By now, you know that the two missing 101st Airborne troopers have been found dead. According to news reports, they had been severely tortured. You know, by adherents to the Religion of Peace.

Have no doubt that the men of the 101st will deal with this the same way the Marines on Tarawa, Okinawa, Iwo Jima, Saipan and many other places dealt with Japanese brutality: they will simply stop taking prisoners. I don't imagine they take many now, but the value placed on a sub-human radial Islamist in Iraq has now swiftly dropped into negative numbers.

Although it is both disrespectful to the dead and their families, I wish there was a way to let the average American know what was done to these men before they died. This country needs to witness how savage these pigs really are. I think it might help put things in perspective the next time John Murtha or John Kerry opens his mouth.

O, Canada

I, ___________________________________, do solemly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed overme, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.

The paragraph above is the oath that all enlistees into the US military must take. It is clear, concise and has not changed in many years. For most enlisted people, this oath is taken in a room at the local processing station; I took mine in a classroom at the MEPS station in Louisville. It is a solemn moment, although most young people do not realize this until later. For the first (and possibly only) time in their lives, the people who take this oath are swearing loyalty and allegiance to not just a group of people, but to an idea.

Evidently, all of this is lost on the members of our military who have seen fit to run to Canada and apply for political asylum. Cindy Sheehan went to visit them on Saturday, stating that she wished her son Casey was among them. The fact that Casey, who obviously was made of sterner stuff than any of these clowns, might be embarrassed by the thought of hanging out with lesser men is lost on her.

I don't know much about Casey Sheehan. Maybe he disagreed with the war and thought President Bush should be impeached. He was young and probably a little scared, but he went to Iraq anyway because that's what his oath obliged him to do. It is a travesty that his insane mother speaks about him in the same sentence as these people.

"They say we're traitors, we're deserters," said former Marine Chris Magaoay, 20, of the Hawaiian island of Maui. "No, I'm a Marine and I stand up for what I believe in, and I believe the Constitution of the United States of America is being pushed aside as a scrap piece of paper."

Magaoay, you quit being a Marine the day you walked out on the men and women you serve with.

If these people want to run to Canada, fine: try them in absentia for desertion in time of war and, if they come back to the US, shoot them. I have a feeling these cloudy souls would begin to see their oaths of enlistment in a different light.

Pyongyang Follies

It looks like North Korea is readying a missle launch. Here's a question to ponder: if North Korea launches a missile with no notice and no statement calling it a test, is the US within its rights to shoot it down via Aegis cruiser? I'm thinking yes; your mileage may vary.

Dads

Happy Father's Day to those of you who are dads or who have dads worthy of recognition. I don't say that to sound cynical---I just know there are bad fathers out there. Today is an uncomfortable day for some people because the special type of manhood that makes a good father is simply absent in some men.

I've written here before about my father and my relationship with him, so I won't rehash it all now. Suffice it to say that my siblings and I are very, very fortunate to have been born into our family.

On another note, I'd like to say congratulations to our friends Ed and Amanda who were married yesterday. Best wishes for both of you.

Life

Life is hard. It's much harder if you're stupid.

This should be posted in every locker in every high school in the United States. I just like the simplicity of it.

The New Band Of Brothers

Go read this. Right now. And watch the videos.

A SEAL near me has an old wooden-stock M-79 40mm grenade launcher (affectionately called a "Thumper") that was phased out late in the Vietnam war in favor of the M-203, a 40mm tube attached below an M-16 rifle. I had wondered why he'd chosen to carry this but now found out.

Another vehicle is spotted, a flatbed with four jihadists bearing AKs. Claburn and others bring it to a screeching halt with a fusillade of bullets to the engine block; then the SEAL with the Thumper smoothly extracts it from a strap around his waist as if it's just another appendage and drops the grenade dead center on the jihadists' truck. One shot; one kill. Those SEALs fight like machines.

Hot Murtha

It looks like Representative John Murtha may be called as a witness if any of the Marines invovled in the Haditha incident are charged. The Attorney General said that Murtha was briefed on the incident by the Commandant of the Marine Corps. He then made statements ON THE HOUSE FLOOR saying that the Marines killed civilians in "cold blood".

There are two possibilities here. Either Murtha is a liar who is just using this incident to further his own political ambitions or the Commandant of the Marine Corps made a judgement about an incident still under investigation and should be removed from his position. Here's a thought: would an American military officer who has spent his adult life in the service of his country make damning statements about men under his command, knowing that he was destroying their chance for a fair trial? There are bad officers out there, but a man does not rise to be the Commandant of the Marine Corps if he's not a squared away, loyal and honest Marine. It just doesn't happen.

For the record, I know that John Murtha was a Marine Corps officer. But he is now a Congressman, a position that has taken him far, far away from the values of the Corps. His statements about the war in general and Haditha in particular have ensured that a group of Marines can never get a fair hearing and given aid and comfort to those, both foreign and domestic, who wish to see this nation fail in Iraq.

If the Marines at Haditha that day are tried, I hope Murtha is called to account for his statements. If nothing else, it will be embarrassing for him to admit that, indeed, he just made up some assumptions out of whole cloth before hearing any evidence. You betrayed those men, John Murtha, all because you want to see another Mi Lai played out before the American people. What would the better men than you who never left Vietnam think of that?

The Good Candidate

Hillary Clinton may be many things, but stupid is not one of them. Pulling a classic play from her husband's play book, she is both criticizing the current administration while moving herself further and further to the right. It's a stroke of genius despite the fact that most people in her own party are too warped to realize it.

What both Bill and Hillary realize is that liberals do not win elections in the United States. Bill Clinton was easily the most liberal President in the history of this nation, but his public persona was that of a middle-of-the-road Democrat. It was well-played, so much so that it gave him and The Hill eight years in the captain's chair.

If the Republicans aren't careful, we'll be greeting another President Clinton in January, 2009. The Party of Lincoln needs to get back to basics: win the war, cut spending, lower taxes. There are not Republicans values, but the party isn't made up of just party hacks---it's made up of conservatives who don't want to spend the next 20 years voting for the lesser of two evils.

The 90's Called

As Tropical Storm Alberto threatened to strengthen into the ninth hurricane in 22 months to affect Florida, former President Clinton predicted Monday that Republican environmental policies will lead to more severe storms.

How about this, Billy Bob: your policy of denial with regard to terrorism led to 9/11. You ignored history for eight years while you jumped from one opinion poll to the next. Thanks, asshat. Go back to Little Rock and troll for trailer trash.

NPR Lovefest

I listen to two NPR podcasts: Morning Stories and On The Media. The way I see it, we are all helping to pay their bills, so we might as well sample their products. I don't ever expect anything conservative to get a fair hearing on any NPR program. But when I hear something like I heard today, it really sickens me. I understand that most of the media are biased, but NPR's blatancy is staggering.

A segment of On The Media was devoted to the Yearly Kos, the first annual meeting of liberal bloggers organized by the man who runs Daily Kos, the most popular fever swapy lefty blog on the web. The announcer was nearly orgasmic in her description of the scene, which alone would've been a turn-off. Then came the main course: Howard Dean, who put in an appearance for his cult followers. What followed was a five minute interview that could've been written by the DNC front office. If you doubt my facts, go find the podcast. It's pretty clear where these people stand.

As I've said many times before, it's time for NPR to be cut from the government apron strings. I know that most of their money comes from private sources. If this is the case, then they can continue to thrive without taking a piece of our tax dollars. Let them compete in the marketplace and see how long they last.

It's easy to be liberal when you're supported by other people's hard work.

The Speech

So my speech last night came in at five minutes, two seconds. Go figure. I felt good about it when the day was done, so I guess I didn't do too badly. Thanks to all of you who sent words of encouragement.

Matt's World Cup Rules

Blame Peter (Sly) for this post. I have watched him coach soccer for almost a decade and it's finally starting to rub off on me. I know a little about the rules, enough so that I actually enjoy watching a match every now and then. Last night, Kelli and I went to a local Mexican restaurante and some sort of World Cup pre-match was on. The waiters and greeters were watching the match whenever possible and it sort of drew me in. As we left, the manager asked us if we were soccer fans and I told him that we are on our way to becoming so.

However, I don't know enough about all the national teams to make educated, soccer-centric observations about them. Thus, I have compiled a set of rules for those of us who don't know enough to truly root for a team for all the right reasons.

1. DO NOT root for France. I think that's all I need to say about that.

2. When Germany plays Poland, root for Poland. The Poles have been staunch supporters of US actions in the war, whereas the Germans, uncharacteristically, have stayed out of the fight. Maybe they're warming up to invade France again. We couldn't get that lucky.

3. ALWAYS pull for England. They are our older brothers in Europe, and any country that produced Winston Churchill, Margaret Thatcher and Tony Blair deserves our support.

4. DO NOT support China or Angola. Two words: Pinko Commies.

5. DO NOT support Switzerland. They harbored looted Nazi money during World War Two; who knows what they're hiding today.

6. DO support Brazil. Have you seen pictures of the Brazilian women? Hello?

7. DO support South Korea and Japan. When China becomes a superpower in about 50 years, Korea and Japan will be our most valuable allies.

So there you have it. It's not as scientific as blue/red state college football picks, but I'm happy.

One For Jim

UPDATE: Despite what I said below, this is NOT the final draft. I have a problem with thinking that what I write is War and Peace. Then, after a good night's sleep, it looks more like Plan B from Outer Space.

Below is the speech I will give about my grandfather on Saturday evening. Other than my wife, no one has read it. It is the first draft and, unless something compels me to change it at the last minute, it will be the final one as well. It is short (five or so minutes) because the ceremony will be outside after dinner and drinks. And because brevity is the soul of wit.

I was 14 years old in July, 1985. That was the month and the year I began working at Rubaiyat Boat Harbor. The “Boat Harbor” part of that name was a throwback to earlier years when what my family used to call “The Club” consisted of a restaurant, boat docks and all the services therein. By the time I came on board, the gas barge was owned by someone else, but the barge was still the same one my father had modified and worked on some thirty years before.

Thank you.

Terrible Swift Sword

Zarquawi is dead. I don’t think I spelled his name correctly---big deal. He was a heathen sub-human and I’m glad he’s dead. Supposedly, the house that he and his fellow animals were meeting in was hit with a 500 pound bomb dropped by an aircraft. As you probably know, some of these munitions do not explode on contact, but instead wait until they have had time to burrow into a bunker, basement, etc. I don’t know if this was one of those bombs, but I would like to think that it was.

Why? Imagine sitting in a house when, out of nowhere (because the plane might be 30,000 feet up and out of your hearing range) a bomb comes whistling in through one of the walls. It sails through the floor and comes to rest, stuck in the ground. In that fraction of a second before it explodes, the asshats in that house know that there is no force in the world that can remove them from the blast radius fast enough. Hellloooooo, Allah!!!

Speaking of Allah, when Zarquawi woke up after the explosion, he was in a bright, white room. He assumed that he was in Paradise. A door opened and in strode George Washington with an axe. He walked up to the terrorist and hit him with the axe handle, knocking him to the ground. Then, out of the same door, walked Robert E. Lee with a rifle. He ran over and hit Zarquawi with the butt of the weapon right in the face. The door opened again and dozens of other men filed in. Some were wearing Confederate uniforms, some were in Navy uniforms, some in business suits, some in jeans and NASCAR t-shirts. They commenced beating Zarquawi.

Zarquawi looked up at the ceiling and cried, “Allah…you promised me 72 virgins?”

Allah answered, “Virgins? You idiot! I said ‘VIRGINIANS’!!!!”

Morning Multiple

Three things this morning:

First, this is waaayyyyy cool.

Second, Sergey Brin, one of the founders of Google, said the company compromised its principles when it agreed to China's censorship rules. Ya think? Here's a winner of a quote:

"Google's rivals accommodated the same demands — which Brin described as "a set of rules that we weren't comfortable with" — without international criticism, he said."

Maybe, Sergie, that's because MSN and Yahoo! don't have a corporate philosophy that says, "First, do no evil". You compromised with evil. Maybe you should say, "First, do no evil. Second, do no evil unless there's a very large market involved; then do a little evil. Third, you do NOT talk about evil."

Finally, Anne Coulter hammered right back at Matt Laurer on the Today show this week. Savor the last line Coulter gets in. And she's right, by the way, about the grief whores who have paraded widows and widowers around so they can pull someone elses political wagon.

Google Excel

Google is getting into the spreadsheet business. Spreadsheet applications, like Microsoft Excel, are not the most exciting things in the world, but this foray by Google is, in my opinion, very big news. Why? Because I believe it hastens the day when operating systems will become commodified.

For those of you who aren't computer geeks, imagine a world in which you could sit down at a PC (or thin client or docked smartphone), open a browser window and do everything you now need MS Office, Quicken, Photoshop and iTunes to do. In other words, the browser IS the computer.

We are on the edge of this today. The company I work for depends on only a handful of Windows-only apps. Were it not for them, we could easily dump Windows and move to Suse or some other *nix OS for the desktop because ANYTHING that runs a browser would do the job. Our branch offices already browse for e-mail and the entire company uses a browser to access our database front end and our imaging server.

This future world scares the hell out of the folks at Microsoft. Their continued success as a company depends on solid sales of Windows, both on the desktop and on the server side. Right now, the world is flooded with Window-only applications, but in a world where everything lives on the server, no one will care (or even know) which OS they're using. Those of you who have done helpdesk work can imagine a world in which the desktop is completely locked down and the PC startup launches a browser window containing everything the employee needs.

If this keeps up, I may have to go sell used cars.

666 (Insert Evil Laughter Here)

Here's a heads-up: nothing strange or end-of-the-worldish is going to happen today because it's June 6, 2006. The calendar is a construct of man, not of God or any natural force in the universe. In fact, our calendar is so out of whack with the universe that we have to stick in an extra day every four years.

Think of the truly evil things that have happened in history. Have any of them happened on a numerically meaningful date? For example, nothing happened on 1-9-61, which is the same upside down as it is rightside up. Nothing happened at 01:23AM on 4-5-06, either. My point is that these numbers only mean things to us because of belief, not because of their true significance.

But, you might say, 6-6-6 is mentioned in the Bible as the Mark of The Beast (cue smoke and evil laughter). While that may be the case (some older versions give the mark as 6-1-6), keep in mind that the Book or Revelations was NOT written as prophecy for our times, but as commentary on the reign of Emporer Nero. The author of Revelations, we believe, was John, the last of the surviving apostles. He wrote it while living in exile on an island, so everything he wrote had to be written in a flowery code so as to escape the eyes of his captors. Only in the 19th century did American protestants turn the book into one supposedly about the end times.

In other words, relax. None of us will know the hour of our end.

As Time Goes By

Our oldest niece, Katie, became engaged on Friday night. This coincides with her move to Florida to be closer to her fiance, Matt. Our family got together on Saturday morning as we have so many times when things have changed: moves, graduations, births, deaths. The circle of life, indeed.

Katie is smart and wise in ways I was not when I was her age. I was in the Navy then, but in many ways I was still very sheltered. Yet, I still worry. She will make the mistakes that all of us make when we move out into the world, but part of me wishes she did not have to experience the hard times that come with cutting the cord. But I know that my parents wished that for me as well, and here I am, bumps and all.

While I have not spent a lot of time with Matt, my impressions of him are all positive. What's more, I know that Katie would not be with him if he was not a good man. But I still see her as that little dark-haired girl running around the house. If she were actually my daughter instead of my niece, I guess I would be curled up in the fetal position right about now.

I know that both of you read this blog on occasion, so please know that your Aunt Kelli and I will always be here for you. And that we both love you very much.

The Kitchen In Redmond

Do you smell that? I do, too---it's the giant turd Microsoft is cooking up for January. 128MB of video RAM? Just to look at a pretty desktop? Have these guys seen Suse 10.1? Wow.

Heil Yahoo!

It's been a long time since I've heard someone compared to the Vichy French. Yeech....it makes me want to clean myself with a wire brush.

Why doesn't someone at Yahoo! do the same thing the folks at Google need to do: stand up in front of the cameras and admit that China has a billion potential customers and if we have to kill old ladies and eat babies that have been roasted on sticks to do business there, well then, pass the cleaver and ketchup. Because it's all about money, dude, and if you think these companies are about love and free thought and an open web, then you're a fool.