Opaque Lucidity

Cali-For-Ni-Yay

Kelli and I arrived safe and sound on the other side of the continent after a series of delays that became, after a while, maddening. We finally got to our hotel room at 3:30 AM this morning, then turned around and got up 7AM so we could go hear the two keynote addresses at the Podcast and Portable Media Expo.

The first keynote speaker was Leo Laporte of TechTV fame, who is now a very successful podcaster. The second keynote was given by Ronald Moore, the producer of Battlestar Galactica and a podcaster himself. Nothing new in either speech, but it's nice to hear them in real life.

Then I had something happen to me that has never happened before: total strangers looked at my name tag and knew who I was. In truth, most of them are NOT total strangers in that we have spoken via e-mail or I subscribe to their podcasts. But it felt odd to see that "light of recognition" on someone's face as they say, "So YOU'RE Matt Dattilo." Pictures of me are fairly rare on the web, so I wonder if they are surprised by what they see.

That's one question I don't ask.

It's all about perception.

What Next? No Purges?

Evidently, a military coup is not nearly as much fun as it used to be. If driving around in a tank and a new uniform can't get you chicks, why have a coup at all?

Katie's Revenge

Do you think this guy's having a hard time in the joint? Define "hard" however you'd like. Read the story linked here for the details. I have to admit that I smiled a little. And I will again when I read this tomorrow.

This is why ALL people convicted of crimes against children should be put in the general prison population. Things just have a way of...working themselves out.

7-11 Drops The Big One

7-11 is ending its 20-year relationship with Citgo, which has the state-run oil company in Venezuela as a parent corporation. While spokespeople for 7-11 said that they have been considering the move for more than a year, look at this:

7-Eleven spokesman Margaret Chabris said that, "Regardless of politics, we sympathize with many Americans' concern over derogatory comments about our country and its leadership recently made by Venezuela's president Hugo Chavez."

How do you like that, Hugo? Asshat. I need to find a local 7-11 and start buying all my gas there.

An Inconvienent Truth (Thanks, Algore)

By now, you probably know that Secretary of State Rice has publicly said that some of former President Clinton's statements to Mike Wallace were "flatly false." Were I George W. Bush, I would not have let anyone in my cabinet talk about the interview to the media. After all, the best thing you can do for a man like Clinton is to give him the attention he so desires. It gives strength and credibility to his falsehoods.

I want to focus on one thing Mr. Clinton said in the interview. He stated that after the attack on the USS Cole he had plans drawn up for action against Afghanistan. Here's the exact quote:

Now, if you want to criticize me for one thing, you can criticize me for this: After the Cole, I had battle plans drawn to go into Afghanistan, overthrow the Taliban, and launch a full-scale attack search for bin Laden.

The CIA and the FBI refused to certify that bin Laden was responsible while I was there. They refused to certify. So that meant I would’ve had to send a few hundred Special Forces in helicopters and refuel at night.

First, the President of the United States is the Commander-in-Chief of the armed forces. He does not need anything from the CIA or the FBI to send troops anywhere. Did he need the CIA or FBI to get basing rights in Uzbekistan? Maybe. However, it would have been possible to overrun the Taliban using naval and marine forces afloat and other bases such as Diego Garcia in the Indian Ocean. It would have been more difficult, but it was definitely doable. Once an area of control was established in Afghanistan, then you move operations ashore. We did this once before on a bunch of islands somewhere. I think they called it World War Two, but maybe I'm wrong.

Let me address those of you who harp on conservatives and/or Republicans for bringing up Bill Clinton six years after he left the White House. There are two reasons why this occurs. One, because he continually inserts himself into everything that merits a headline. As was said about Theordore Roosevelt, he wants to be the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral. There was a time when former Presidents remained silent on everything but their terms in office; Bill Clinton feels comfortable opining on everything, including the job performance of the current President. It's bad form.

The second reason is because Bill Clinton is a liar and his lies, unless countered, will become the official history of our times. He wants to be seen as the man who wanted to save the US from terrorism but, gosh, nobody would let him. The mainstream media loves this because it allows them to elevate their hero to the position of generational martyr. In thirty years, he will occupy a hallowed seat next to JFK, the Democratic saint who was also without blemish and who, had he lived, would have kept us out of Vietnam.

Oh, if only...

Thin Like Skin

Bill Clinton is not a happy man. By now, you have heard about the Fox News Sunday interview the former President did with Chris Wallace. During the interview, Wallace mentioned that he had received e-mails from people wondering why Clinton didn't do more about Osama bin Laden. Clinton's response was, to say the least, hot and bothered.

Bill Clinton spent the last part of his Presidency worrying about his legacy. Of course, the rest of us know that legacy is not manufactured, but created by daily actions and outcome. History creates legacy, not spinmeisters. In the end, Clinton's legacy is so paper-thin that the slightest questioning of it causes him to fly off the handle.

Why does he care about his legacy? First, ego. But more importantly, Bill Clinton is not finished with the limelight. He wants to run the UN or be an ambassador or be crowned king. We will all be exposed to him again in a big way----hopefully not as the husband of the President.

Off The Air

I have come away from my conversation with David Lawrence with a new appreciation of how professional media folks view podcasting. Let there be no doubt: Lawrence loves podcasting. His point the other night was not that most podcasts suck, but that there needs to be some serious examination of how one goes about gaining an audience. On top of that, podcasters must constantly pursue excellence.

We also discussed "podfade". This is the term for podcasters who quit producing new shows. Often, the feed for their 'cast is still out there, but the show is essentially dead. Lawrence mentioned that this often occurs because new podcasters give up when they do not immediately gain a large audience or when the show stops being fun and starts being a job.

You've never asked, but I'm going to tell you why I do a podcast. First, I love history, especially US history. Our common past is full of stories so amazing that they make even the best fiction look weak. While I don't believe in reincarnation, there are times when I feel as if I have witnessed at least some of the great events of the past millenium.

Second, most Americans have a glaring lack of knowledge when it comes to history. I blame our education system. Many school systems teach social studies instead of solid history. As I used to say in my podcast's promo, WE ARE STANDING ON HISTORY. Everything that happens today has a story behind it that helps to explain why things are the way they are. People who say, "The world has gone crazy" or something similar don't have a firm grasp of history. Very, very little of what we experience today is new. The names change and the technology improves, but the emotions, intentions and sins remain the same.

I don't want to sound like I'm on some sort of history crusade, but in a way I am. I want to do just enough to make my listeners think, "I need to read up on this." As Americans, we should be proud of our history. Yes, this nation has done some terrible things. But overall, there has never been a nation that has done so much good for mankind. We never, ever should forget that.

On The Air

I'm listening to an audio stream of David Lawrence's Online Tonight Show. He and I have exchanged e-mails over the past two days concerning his comments about podcasting that I wrote about here a few days ago.

Believe it or not, he was very civil and he asked me to call into the show so we could debate the issue. I'm getting ready to pick up the phone and dial. I'll let you know what happens.

Babs, Liberated

Older women can be very alluring. For example, Sophia Loren remained a highly attractive woman well into her 60's. Raquel Welch? Very much a hottie grandmother. And the list goes on. But as you grow older (and this goes for men as well), I believe you have to admit there are things you shouldn't do out of respect to your fellow man.

Babs, even whiny liberals need to mix in a bra every now and then.

From The Cheap Seats

Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela, referred to Noam Chomsky in the first paragraph of his speech at the UN today. With a start like that, you have to wonder what's coming next.

If you've read the speech, you know what came next: attacks on the United States and personal attacks on President Bush. Wasn't there a time when diplomacy was respectful, at least in public? I guess if you're dissing the US, then no actions are too far afield.

Yesterday, ladies and gentlemen, from this rostrum, the president of the United States, the gentleman to whom I refer as the devil, came here, talking as if he owned the world. Truly. As the owner of the world.

A Communist talking about the devil? Lenin must be rolling in his grave. What Chavez doesn't understand is that if a nation which subscribes to his brand of socialism were as powerful as the US, they WOULD be trying to take over the world, just as the Soviet Union wanted to run all of Europe. Our restraint is the only thing that keeps us from being an unstoppable empire.

I'm beginning to think it is better to be feared than loved.

Send In The Clown

Let's get something straight: President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran is a leader only in the most liberal sense of the word. The real rulers of Iran are the Ayatollahs who oversee all aspects of government, either directly or through intimidation. Nonetheless, the President is the face of Iran when he travels. And what a face it is.

Ahmatothrowabomb gave a speech at the UN todaymere hours after President Bush did the same thing. Bush talked directly to the people of Iran, telling them that they are a great, proud society deserving of freedom and democracy. To most Americans, this seems like common sense; after all, all human beings should be free and have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But to President Ahmajihadistan, Bush's words must have cut deep.

President Ahmamamalobadingdong went to the UN with the intention of making the US and the UK look bad in the eyes of the world. I'm sure he succeeded in that since the UN is a cesspool of socialists, marxists and ruthless thugs. As always, the opinion of most of the world matters little when their actions show them to by hypocrites and appeasers.

I am worried about what will happen with regard to Iran. My hope is that there will be a peaceful revolution from within, but I know I'm wishing for the near-impossible. I do not believe the US, UK or anyone else wants to invade Iran after the troubles we've had in Iraq; maybe I'm wrong, but it would be a crazy move. To quote President Lincoln, "One war at a time."

Stop Calling Me Violent Or I'll Kill You

You probably know about the Pope's speech in Germany on Tuesday that has caused so much consternation among the world's Muslims. He apologized today and made clear what has always been clear to anyone who read the text of his speech: the offending comment was a quote from a letter written hundreds of years ago.

Of course, it doesn't matter to those who manipulate the islamo-fascist extremists. Their hatred is deep that it really doesn't matter that their anger is completely out of context. Basically, offending comment was:

In the seventh conversation edited by Professor Khoury, the emperor touches on the theme of the jihad (holy war). The emperor must have known that surah 2, 256 reads: There is no compulsion in religion. It is one of the suras of the early period, when Mohammed was still powerless and under threat.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."

So what is the response? Marching in the streets and threats of violence. What does this prove except that the emperor had a point?

The Best A Jihadist Can Get

Please post a caption for this photograph. The best one will win....well, nothing. I'll start:

"See, Ahman, you hold your mug like this, out in front of you, and you say, "Barkeep! Another pint!" "

The Coming Extinction

I doubt that I'm psychic, but a short podcast I listen to almost every day related to my blog post from yesterday. The podcast is done by David Lawrence, who is a syndicated radio talk show host and actor. The 'cast, which is a little over 10 minutes in length, is recorded immediately after David's radio show. As a result, the topic is often whatever was discussed the last hour of the program, sometimes with the guest still in the studio. I find the 'cast interesting because of the wide variety of guests, from techies to actors.

One night this week, David interviewed a tech blog writer (and God knows there's not enough of those around) and they began discussing the Podcast Awards. These awards are the Emmy/Oscars of the podcasting world and are taken pretty seriously by those of us who love the genre. The only other awards as of now are the Podcast Peer Awards, which are new this year (and I am honored to say I was nominated in two categories, but will win neither of them).

Basically, David and his guest were complaining about the awards because, to paraphrase, "we don't know many of the nominees". At this point, David named his favorite podcasts and how well-produced they are, which is fine. Then came the part that really made me angry: he said that because podcasting is new, people will put up with bad shows. However, as the medium ages, audiences will expect better and better production. Then, I guess, only the "professionals" will remain.

Does this progression sound familiar to anyone? Maybe like the birth and growth of radio? First, it was a hobbyists plaything. Then it became a multi-billion dollar industry. But to say that podcasting will follow suit is to misunderstand why most people listen to podcasts and what they expect.

People turn to podcasts because, as I wrote about yesterday, they are tired of the radio and much of what's on TV. Also, there are no rules in podcasting, so the content can vary wildly, from professional to campy to outright disgusting. And it's on your schedule, not the schedule deemed most profitable by some marketing department.

I stewed for a while about David's comments because, to me, it seemed as if he was saying that only radio-types will or should succeed in podcasting. Then I thought back about something he had said earlier: he's been on the radio for 33 years. That means he is at least 51. Suddenly, it all became clear---he's scared of the world that will be. Poor guy. Time is cruel.

David will be at the Portable Media Expo, as will Kelli and I. I would love to meet him (but I will NOT pay $150 for his private one hour tutoring lessons---give me a break), not to argue with him, but to tell him this (and I know it sounds arrogant):

"Remember this voice, Mr. Lawrence. You'll be hearing it again."

Dead Air

Drudge has an early lead from the New York Times on Friday (no link yet) on a story claiming that radio listenership is down overall nationwide at all times except drive time. I've no doubt that the professional spinmeisters from the radio industry will explain it away somehow, but the plain fact is that terrestrial radio is dying a slow death.

Consider what is on the radio in most metro areas. There are various genres of music, but the variety in those genres is practically non-existent. The average Clear Channel music station has a 200 song playlist at any given time. That's not even a wading pool for people who are really into music.

Most areas have an NPR station, but they are partially funded by public dollars, so the economics of their operation is a little different. They are granted more latitude by the FCC than for-profit stations, which gives them something of an edge, albeit small.

Then there is talk radio. Conservative shows dominate the landscape, which is completely understandable. Air America Network, which was supposed to be the liberal answer to Limbaugh, Hannity, Hewitt, etc. has been skirting bankruptcy for two years. Why? Because, at some point, you must have something of substance to talk about. Continually making fun of people you hate is only entertaining for a few minutes.

But conservative radio is not without its problems. There are very few shows that are original. For example, Sean Hannity is essentially Rush Limbaugh's little brother in broadcasting. Limbaugh himself has become boring, pushing the same old bromides for the better part of twenty years.

So what is the answer for old-fashioned radio? Nothing; there is no answer. More and more people are turning to satellite radio, even though profitability is still somewhere off in the distance for both XM and Sirius. The 800lb. gorilla in the room, of course, is all the audio options on the internet. Podcasting alone is starting to make a dent in listenership; it makes me wonder what it will be like in 10 years.

Oh, and Air America folks? It looks like a bankruptcy announcement is coming next week. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

Spicolli Speaks, World Listens

Sean Penn called President Bush "a Beelzebub...and a dumb one" during the Toronto Film Festival this week. Not to quibble with Mr. Penn and his big, scary brain, but isn't Beelzebub another name for Satan? I know that in Paradise Lost , Beelzebub was actually Satan's right-hand man, sort of the Executive Officer of Hell. So calling someone "a" Beelzebub doesn't make sense, does it? Or am I just thinking too hard about it?

Yeah, well, you know...he's not a very good actor, either.

I haven't read much about Kevin Costner in a long time, but I like the fact that, regardless of his political leanings, he at least respects the fact that the man in the White House is a human being with a family. Good on ya, Mr. Costner.

Now please take Sean out back and give him some public speaking lessons.

Obsolete No More

When you own an Apple product, then you know that every 6 months or year a new version of that product comes out with new features that makes your old one look, well, old. That happened this week with my iMac when Apple introduced new iMacs with Core2Duo chips and one with a 24" screen. With my lowly CoreDuo chip and only a 20" screen, I expected to experience waves of regret/desire.

It never happened. While I think the new machines are cool, I still love my machine. It is unique now, with its own character and accessories. I don't know if I've outgrown my constant desire to upgrade (the fact that I can't afford to upgrade may be a factor), but I think it's that I'm so happy with this machine that I will use it until I'm forced to upgrade by some "must-have" feature Apple will roll out in 2008 or 2009. Until then, I know that this machine will run every upcoming version of OSX flawlessly, just like those folks out there who are running Tiger on older G4s.

I think I've finally made the switch.

On Some Idle Tuesday

Hugh Hewitt played some audio from the morning of 9/11 on his Weekend Journal show this weekend. There are so many characteristics of that day I had forgotten: the confusion, the difficult silences when no one, not even professional radio people, had anything to say. I forgot my shock and how, since I worked second shift, I sat in one position on our couch all day, unable to move. I was on the house phone and my cell phone making sure my brothers, one in Washington, DC and one in Chicago that day, were OK. Peter's cousin was in downtown Manhattan, so I was receiving updates about him as well. Howard Stern stayed on late and did a better job of reporting than anyone else I heard that morning; I turned down the TV audio and listened to him. He was a different person.

One thing we have lost from that day is the moral clarity that existed for that short time. When the second plane hit the towers, most of us knew we were under attack. We were all New Yorkers that day because we are all Americans---attack one of us and you attack all of us. Evil had acted against this nation, and we all knew what would come next. When Kelli came home from lunch, we talked about Pearl Harbor. There was going to be a war. We didn't know where, but evil beings would be made to pay for this. It seemed like we had a moral obligation to avenge so many innocent deaths.

Five years on, I still believe in that obligation. Unfortunately, it didn't take long for many people in the United States to begin to lose their resolve. About a month after 9/11, a friend of ours came into town and his first comment about the tragedy was, "We need to learn why these people hate us so much." I didn't disagree with him because I wasn't sure where to begin. The statement makes the assumption that our society, collectively, has done something not only worthy of hate, but worthy of such a cowardly act against innocents. But among those on the Left who secretly hate this country, that question remains first in their minds.

Unfortunately, this line of thought has merged with a group that has always existed: conspiracy theorists. They believe that a secret cabal killed Kennedy, we never went to the moon, Elvis never died, city water is being treated with chemicals designed to keep us docile, etc. For about the first six months after 9/11, no one in his right mind dared introduce the idea of a hidden agenda behind 9/11. After all, the facts of the case had been witnessed by millions of people.

But then Afghanistan happened and, soon after that, Iraq. The Left, lead by the likes of Howard Dean and Michael Moore, introduced a new idea into the American psyche: we need to hate George Bush more than we hate terrorists. When this meme began to spread like wildfire, it was only a matter of time until the tinfoil looneys met the looneys from the Left. It was a match made in heaven.

The theories started with Osama Bin Laden. The CIA created him. The CIA funded him. Both of these statements are false, and obviously so to anyone smart enough to do a little reading about what happened in Afghanistan during the 1980's. The US funded the Muhjahdin, which was a completely separate group from the foreign fighters Bin Laden helped to supply. Same mission, different lines of reasoning. Of course, it doesn't matter to those who get their info from 10 second sound bytes: the CIA sent money to some brown-skinned folks over yonder, so they created the bad men.

Now, years later, the theories run from the merely crazy to the dangerous and seditious. A passenger plane did not crash into the Pentagon. All the Israelis working in the Twin Towers stayed home on 9/11. The White House knew the exact day the attacks were going to take place and did nothing. The attack was planned by Bush to take us into war so he could have himself declared President for Life.

I'm going to put this as simply as I can: if you believe any of the above craziness, you are either an idiot or a faux elitist pawn. None of these theories would have ever seen the light of day were it not for the hatred of George Bush that exists among many Democrats and Leftists. But now, because of this twisted co-joining, 35% of Americans believe that what we know about 9/11 is some sort of lie. Thirty-five percent.

There are some simple things that need to happen in this country, but at the top of the list is our need to win the war. As long as our enemy knows that there are so many useful idiots in our society, they will continue to be emboldened because, after all, much of their war is propaganda-based. So if you believe that 9/11 is the work of Bush, Cheney, Rove and Company as part of a plan to drive up oil prices, please shut the hell up for the good of your nation.

I know that I will hear the Moore-like statement, "But asking questions is a very American thing to do." Yes, it is, when those questions are honest and seek the truth. But the questions many on the Left are asking only exist to plant fear, uncertainty and doubt in the mind of Americans with the hope of gaining some political favor. It is sick and (yes, I'm going to say it) un-American.

The Rumble

Peggy Noonan is one of the greatest opinion writers of our day, and after five years, she can still talk about an aspect of 9/11 that is new to many of us. If you haven't read anything touching today, here you go.

No one said anything unneeded, extraneous or small. Crisis is a great editor.

This is what I get from the last messages. People are often stronger than they know, bigger, more gallant than they'd guess. And this: We're all lucky to be here today and able to say what deserves saying, and if you say it a lot, it won't make it common and so unheard, but known and absorbed.

I've often wondered how I would've behaved had I been on one of those flights that morning. Flight 93 was a little different because I believe they knew what had happened in New York and that's why they tried to take the plane back. I imagine that most people's first reaction would be shock, then fear, but what then?

I think anger would come next for me. Sort of a "who the hell do you think you are?" kind of anger. The anger that allows unarmed men to face armed men and beat them. And I know that I'm not alone. Since 9/11, I have told people that no person or groups of people will ever be able to hijack an American aircraft over American airspace again without the passengers fighting back. The days of hijackers flying to Cuba and asking for asylum are over. If you are on a plane and a bunch of sub-human islamo-fascists take over the flight, they're going to fly it into something.

Faced with this knowledge, I think most Americans would face a thing with a box cutter.

March To The Sea And Back

Ahhh...back in the land of the fast internet connection. So much has happened in the past week that I feel the need to create one of my "cover-all" posts.

---The Clintonistas and their Looney Left fellow travelers are up in arms over ABC's 9/11 docu-drama that portrays Bubba and his clan in a less than favorable light. Yesterday, Bill was quoted as saying, "I want people to tell the truth." When did that become so important to the Master of Spin? Two movies about the Reagans have come out in the past five years and both of them aired despite being full of fallacies.

Why are the Clintons and the Dems so mad? Because Bill Clinton's legacy is a house built on sand. It is without substance and anyone who cares to look at the facts knows that if Clinton had acted against terrorism instead of taking a holiday from history, 9/11 might not have happened. THAT's a hell of a legacy.

---Steve Irwin's death, as sad as it was, did not surprise me. I often told people that he would not live to see his retirement. I hate that he left two small children and his wife behind, because even with money, it's tough to grow up without a dad. My only consolation is that if Steve could talk to us now, he would probably say, "At least I died doing what I love, mate."

---Brad Pitt says that he will marry Angelina Jolie when everyone can marry whomever they wish. The voice of our generation has spoken, groundlings.

---The fifth anniversary of 9/11 is Monday. I make it a habit of not posting on that day out of respect and because if I did post, I would have to talk about the day and, to be honest, nothing I say will add to the discussion. However, I may put something up Sunday about the conspiracy tinfoil hat crazies who are, in my opinion, America-haters of the first caliber masquerading as truth-tellers. Michael Moore, call your office.

---To those of you worried about my political beliefs becoming intertwined with the MTIH podcast: it's not going to happen. I have tried to be very even-handed on the 'cast and I think I have done a pretty good job. What's written on the blog stays on the blog. We are all biased in some ways, but history should be as neutral (but not amoral) as we can make it.

---I saw the two extremes of management this week and it left me believing that I took some good decisions during the several times in my life I have managed people. Management is not about technical details, but about people. It is also not about being a boss---anyone can give orders. A good manager makes you want to take orders and feel good about it. Not everyone with technical knowledge of the job can be a good manager. I wish more companies would learn this lesson.

---Several of you called me this week and I did not take your calls. Please don't be offended; I worked late and was tired most of the time. Socially, I would've been a disappointment.

---The moon is full: bring out the crazies.

Off The Grid

I have spent the night in two different cities in Georgia since Tuesday, and both nights the hotel internet connectivity was sporadic. I'm going to keep this post short because I don't know when this wireless will also go dead. A change of plans this morning means that I am not going to be home until Friday, so there will be no more posting until then. Be well.

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Lawyers, Part Deux

I have received a great deal of feedback from those of you who took issue with my post on lawyers. Please let me say that I know there are good lawyers out there; if you go back and read what I wrote, you'll see that I acknowledge that. In fact, I know some.

But I do not withdraw my first assumption: there are more worthless ambulance chasers than there are people who are interested in defending people's rights in the traditional sense. If you are an attorney and you wonder why I would make this assumption, then you have not spent enough time in non-law circles. A long look at a civilian's view of product liability cases over the last 20 years should tell you all you need to know. For extra credit, look at the lawyers who work for the RIAA.

If you are an attorney, the you need to spend a little more time policing your profession and a little less time complaining about those of us who attack it.

10 From Lone Star

This past week marked the tenth anniversary of my move from Texas back to Indiana. I was 25 when I went through that humbling experience, and had you told me that by 2006 I would be happily married for eight years, own a home and have a stable, well-paying job, I would've laughed at you.

I would not be the person I am today had a I never moved to the Dallas area. It was the place where I learned what is truly important life: family, loyalty, belief in causes larger than oneself. I also learned that I am capable of much more than the everyday me that everyone knows would hint at---and that's not always a good thing. But through it all, I think it's important to know what you'll be like when times are hard, the chips are down and the world is closing in. Under the right circumstances, we are all capable of greatness and badness. Which surfaces depends, I think, on both the person and the situation.

I think back upon those individuals who were part of my life then and I am sad to realize that most of them are no longer a part of my life. The old core of souls is still there and are a very important part of our lives. But everyone taught me something, even if it was only how NOT to live.

I have been thinking about Texas since 12:13AM this morning, when I woke up, sat up in bed, pivoted the wrong way and dislocated my shoulder...again. It hurt more than I remembered, but then I realized that my shoulder has not come out of place for nearly 10 years. I guess the ligaments (tendons?) that hold my arm to my shoulder have had a long time to tighten up, which makes a dislocation much more painful.

I sat down at my desk and tried to relax. This is not what Matt circa 1994 would've done, but in 1995 I learned that I can make my arm go back in place by doing absolutely nothing. This lesson was learned one night in the summer of 1995 when I dislocated my shoulder while standing at the main bar at Eden, the dance club that was our hangout/living room/boardroom. I went outside with Peter and Lauren, after which a small parade of people came out to see if they could help. One of them, a former football player whose nickname I don't recall told me that he had once "relocated" a guy's shoulder by hitting it up against a wall. THAT was pain in its purest form.

It was decided that I needed to go to the emergency room. As we drove, I realized that we were going to THE Parkland Hospital, which is where President Kennedy died after he was shot in Dallas in 1963. When we got there, I was immediately reminded that it was Saturday night in Texas: there were gunshot victims, people in handcuffs, etc. I was taken back into a little private area while Peter and Lauren waited out in the waiting room. After about 20 minutes, Peter talked his way back and the three of us (all pretty hammered) began talking. Soon, I was laughing and had forgotten all about my shoulder.

About five minutes later, my shoulder popped back into place like it had never left. I looked at my two companions and said, "I think we can go." We walked out just as the on-duty doctor was coming back. We told him what had happened and that I was pretty sure I was OK. They let us leave without a word, because I'm sure the Doc had bigger fish to fry. But the best part came as we were walking back to the lobby. Peter turned around and said, as if he did it every day:

"I'll send you guys a bill."