Opaque Lucidity

The Cynical Blend

Those of you who create podcasts know that, in some circles, Podshow does not have a very good reputation. Most of the hatred comes from supposedly leaked "contracts" that the company wants producers to sign when they come on board. Let me say now: I have signed a contract with Podshow and it is NOT anything like the leaked versions you find online. I'm a pretty smart guy who's been podcasting for free for almost two years. If I had any doubts, I wouldn't have signed. My experience with Podshow has been positive. I could not ask for better treatment.

And then there's Keith and the Girl. KATG is one of the most popular podcasts around. They are independent, which is great if you have a large enough audience and the time to seek advertisers on your own. I do not. From what I understand, KATG has never been approached by Podshow (they went with Dawn and Drew instead), which may be part of the problem. Early on, it was assumed that Podshow would offer them a contract. When the months went by and they did not, KATG turned ugly towards Podshow.

I have never listened to KATG until their last show (Episode 451). In it, Keith claims that the ENTIRE Podshow network only has 12,000 downloads a day. Really? Wow. Let's look at my Hipcast numbers for comparison, shall we?

The current dip has occurred since I started asking people to begin using the Podshow feed of Matt's Today in History instead of the Hipcast feed (or Old Feed, as you see in iTunes). See that last peek? That's 9,000 downloads, folks. So if I get nearly 10,000 downloads on a good weekday, how many is a really, really popular podcast getting? Hmmmmm....could Keith be talking out of his ass?

Me thinks so.

One more thing, Keith: to have a funny show, you actually have to be funny.

The Cooper Union Speech, February 27, 1860

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Algore? Hypocrite? Really?

Evidently, Ozone Boy uses more electricity at his lair than 20 average American families put together. So when he says we need to be more "green", is he including himself in that? Or just us little people?

2006

2006 – $820 (high) $70 (low) $544 (average)
2005 – $1025 (high) $25 (low) $525 (average)

Look for our Fearless Crusader to put out a statement any second now explaining this. My guess is that he will say that this is stealing focus from the real cause of the problem--------REPUBLICANS with big houses.

Because, you know, he cares more.

Not In Your Bonnet

This is scary.

What Was Wrong With The Old One?

The International Atomic Energy Agency and the International Organization for Standardization want you to know when it's time to panic, so they've adding a person running and a skull and crossbones to the radiation warning symbol.

The symbol is to be used to identify dangerous sources of radiation such as food irradiators, teletherapy machines for cancer treatment and industrial radiography units. It will not be visible under normal use but will be seen if someone tries to disassemble a unit containing radioactive materials. So the next time you see this symbol, run!

Or "When you're in your attic and the fan starts pushing hot air, run away from the skeleton in the corner."

Buffalo Bill Cody Born, February 26, 1846

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Saturday Night Geek Humor

This is a little old, but still funny:

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor

I have been waiting to share this with you for some time, but now it's official: I have signed a contract with Podshow. To paraphrase Tom Hanks in "That Thing You Do", I have joined the Podshow galaxy of stars. I am now a professional podcaster.

Who the heck is Podshow, you ask? Here's a snippet from their website:

Podshow was created out of total frustration with current audio programming. The same songs, the same messaging, the same programming, everywhere, all the time, with no exceptions...

In essence, Podshow matches up podcasters with advertisers. They approach podcasters who they feel might be a good match for their clients. They also offer free hosting to all podcasters, so if you go to the site, you will see thousands of shows. In reality, they have only signed about 150 people to actual ad contracts.

As I said before, someone was paying attention. Thank you to all of you who have offered encouragment, praise and criticism during the past 21 months I have been podcasting. I would also like to thank the lovely and wonderful Kelli, who believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. I think the future will be bright.

United States Granted Panama Canal Zone, February 23, 1904

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Rainbow Push

Just in time for the Academy Awards, Jesse Jackson's renewing a push for greater inclusion of minorities in showbiz.

"While I feel joy for those outstanding performances, my concern is that people will take these as a substitute for progress(emphasis Matt's)," Jackson said in an interview Wednesday with Daily Variety. "We want to keep the light on unfinished business."

I guess it's time for Jackson to try for a cash kickback from Hollywood, since so many of his other sources have dried up. The Variety article quoted above also states some statistics about minority roles in American movies and minority members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences. These are the "spotlight" issues Jackson wants to address.

Here's an idea, Jesse: go start your own movie studio. The studios are private companies and like all non-governmental industries should be able to hire whoever makes them the most money. They do not exist to hand out paychecks, but to turn a profit---employment is a secondary effect of that drive.

Jesse Jackson is nothing more than a con man who has been using his influence over the past 40 years to shakedown companies for money. His belief that he needs to be some sort of spokesman for Americans of African descent is doing a great disservice to those who have achieved success not by crying out about discrimination, but by actually working hard. Yes, racism still exists in this country. Jesse Jackson and his ilk are not helping to stop it.

This Is Texas

Logo, The Next Generation

Thanks, Gena

The "I" Points To The "L"

There are other emerging fissures, as well. The aggressively photogenic John Edwards was cruising along, detailing his litany of liberal causes last week until, during question time, he invoked the "I" word — Israel. Perhaps the greatest short-term threat to world peace, Edwards remarked, was the possibility that Israel would bomb Iran's nuclear facilities. As a chill descended on the gathering, the Edwards event was brought to a polite close.

John Edwards, who you last saw running with John "Did You Know I Served In Vietnam?" Kerry in 2004, is not a stupid man. He is a very wealthy lawyer; I don't think it's off base to say that such people's public words are often very well thought out in advance. In short, his comment about Israel was not off the cuff.

Why say such a thing? Simple: it panders to what the Democrats must now call their base. Gone are the days when the Dems could count on blue-collar workers and Catholics to bolster their ranks. Instead, they must appeal to 20- and 30-something slackers, special interest groups waiting for a handout, tenured professors and angry lesbians. On the outer wings are those who used to be the backbone of th e party. You know them---they're the people who still think the party is for "the working man". Yo, Kennedy and Truman are dead.

Edwards doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of getting the Democratic nomination, so what he says now really doesn't matter. The scary thing is that people like Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama actually agree with Edwards but would never say so publicly. They're smart enough to hide their anti-Israel nutiness behind a facade of concern for peace in the Middle East.

Joint Space Mission

Sirius is trying to buy XM for $4.6 billion in stock. I'm sure the SEC (that's Security and Exchange Commission, NOT Southeast Conference, for you U of K fans out there) will have something to say about it, as will terrestrial radio conglomerates.

Satellite radio was supposed to be an answer to the lame, homogenous programming on land-based radio. The advantage of terrestrial radio is that it's free to the listener whereas satellite radio has a subscription fee. Until satellite radio becomes free or very, very inexpensive, I don't believe it will take off. More people now listen to podcasts than subscribe to satellite radio because podcasts are almost all free. Free is good.

However, I am glad to see the merger. There were many things on XM that were not on Sirius and vice versa, making it difficult to decide to which one I should subscribe. This also means XM-Sirius will essentially have a monopoly on space-based radio, but I don't know how big an issue that is.

Executive Order 9066 Issued, February 19, 1942

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Robert Hanssen Arrested, February 18, 2001

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Trendy? I Hope So!

Time Travel

I received an interesting e-mail today and, to make a long story short, I've been caught: I have been pre-dating my posts here. Why? Because one of my New Year's resolutions was to post here every day. Well, that's pretty hard to do with a full time job and a podcast that is requiring more and more of my time (more on that in a future post). So, to give an example, I am writing this at 9:07PM EST Saturday. However, when I post it, I will roll the clock back to Friday evening.

Is this cheating? Not the way I see it. See, what's the difference between two posts in one day versuses one post one day and one post the next? If you could travel in time, wouldn't you?

It Must Be Me

So Ralph Fiennes had an encounter with a Qantas flight attendant in the plane's lavatory. While some of you will probably write this off as just another Hollywood star stunt, it opens many questions in my mind.

Namely, how in the *&^% did they do the deed in an airplane bathroom? I have to turn sideways just to step inside and once I'm there, my shoulders almost touch the walls. I'm not tall, but I am wide, so maybe that's it. But Fiennes is a tall guy; I wonder if his back hurt the next day.

Captain James Cook Dies, February 14, 1779

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The Catch With Mitt

MItt Romney officially announced his candidacy for the 2008 Presidential election today. He is socially conservative, although he has not always been. This is a problem for some people, but I'm willing to overlook it. After all, very few people go through life without re-examining their closely held beliefs. I don't care if he was pro-abortion; the point is that he's not now.

The problem with Romney is the fact that he is a Mormon. I would like to think that we live in a nation where a man's religion is not a deciding factor for the voting public, but we don't. In the same way that John F. Kennedy's Catholicism was a turn-off to many Americans in 1960, so Mormonism will be in 2008. In fact, it will be worse for two reasons.

First, Mormonism has relatively few adherents. Kennedy at least had tens of millions of Catholics behind him; Romney will have the population of Utah and a few small conclaves elsewhere in the country.

Second, the media has already begun to treat Mormons as cultists. It's not above the surface yet, but the questions they are asking should tell you all you need to know. If he wins the nomination, Mormonism will soon be portrayed as the new Satanic Fascism.

No one currently running on the Republican side of the aisle can beat Senators Clinton or Obama; after all, they have the power of the mainstream media behind them. The RNC needs to find a young, traditional conservative to outwit Clinton and out-"JFK" Obama. But don't look for it to happen.

It's A Fine, Fine Navy Day!

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE

Sharks With Frickin' Laser Beams...Or Not

The Navy is set to deploy some marine animals in Puget Sound. The service has been working with dolphins and sea lions for more than a generation, yet PETA is still complaining (see article).

What these people fail to understand is that service animals (police dogs included) live better than many human beings. The naval animals are basically treated like sailors. Their facilities are world-class and they receive the best vet care available.

I'm all about free speech, but can we find a way to muzzle PETA? Please?

The James-Younger Gang's First Robbery, February 13, 1866

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Those Pesky Royal Pinko Commies

You have to admit that Prince Harry (below) has a pretty cool gig. He will probably never be king, but he will still get to live large on the royal money. With this in mind, you would think that the 'spare' (as in 'the heir and the spare') would embrace all things British, which includes capitalism (we Americans learned it from somewhere, you know). While he may indeed be a democracy-loving royal, his choice of attire is, shall we say, less than supportive of free markets:

That's right: Harry is sporting a Che Guevara t-shirt. How.....nice. I have to wonder if his Royalness knows anything about Guevara or, better yet, how many people communist dictators killed in the 20th century.

Next time the lad is out on the town, may I suggest this look instead.

King Henry VIII Named Head Of English Church, February 11, 1531

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The Wages Of Liberalism

Do you remember the argument over an increase in the minimum wage? The Democrats touted the increase as a boon to "working families" despite the fact that very few employers pay the minimum wage. However, it is having an effect on those industries whose employees are teenagers. Over 80% of the people in this country who make the minimum wage are still living with their parents; in other words, they are working for spending money.

This is what happens when an issue stops being about common sense economics and is made into an argument about class and economic standing.

The Story Untold

You know all about Anna Nicole Smith's death by now. She was 39. She had a career that was both incredible and horrific. If you stop and think about it, her life could have ended no other way.

Anna Nicole was the embodiment of what many women in our society want: blond, Playmate/model, wealthy, famous for being famous. We learned over the past few years that her life was actually a train wreck. She was surrounded by people who seemed to feed on her. In the end, she seemed as if she was doped up all the time.

Anna Nicole was the result of a life in which no one expected very much. She did not finish high school. She was married at 18. She was a stripper. She married an 85-year old millionaire and became an embarrassment in a courtroom. She did a reality show in which she was portrayed as an air-head confused by even the most basic facets of life. It seems like she was led around from one trauma to another by people whose intentions were probably less than pure.

I might be wrong, but it seems like there was no one in her life who ever challenged her to be more than she thought she was. And so she existed as a dumb, slutty blond that men drooled over while they laughed at her stupidity. It's sad because it happens so often: so many people expect the pretty girl to just go through life being pretty. If you don't believe me, go to a cheerleading camp or a beauty pageant for young girls. You will find the mother who wasn't popular or good-looking and who is trying to re-live her life through her little darling who will be taught that the best thing she can be is a hot piece of ass.

Anna Nicole Smith rose exactly to this lowest level of expectation.

...And Only Half Of What You See

I spend a lot of time reading about various famous people in history. As a result, every photograph I see containing the image of someone with whom I'm familiar automatically causes a running commentary to begin in my head. The picture above is a great example of what I'm talking about.

There's Winston Churchill, Franklin Roosevelt and Josef Stalin. If you take away the background and Stalin's uniform, they could be three retirees waiting for a bus. The picture was taken during the Yalta Conference in February, 1945. Churchill was 70, Roosevelt was 63 and Stalin was 66. Roosevelt's goal at the conference was to ensure that the Soviets would declare war on Japan (which they did in August). Stalin was there to seal the fate of Eastern Europe and make sure it stayed in the Soviet sphere of influence after the war. Churchill, perhaps the wisest man present, was there to try to save Eastern Europe from Communist domination. Even though war still raged in Europe and the Pacific, he knew another war lay on the horizon.

When this photo was taken, Josef Stalin had already overseen several purges during the 1920's and 1930's and was responsible for the deaths of more than 20 million Soviet citizens. You wouldn't think it by looking at him. Other photos taken that day show him laughing. And why not; after all, he got everything he wanted at Yalta. Roosevelt gave him Eastern Europe over Churchill's protests.

There in the middle sits Franklin Roosevelt. By February, 1945, he had been President for 12 years, longer than anyone before or since. He looks thin, pale and sick; he would be dead in two months. He was out-gunned at Yalta, or maybe he was just too short-sided to understand the threat posed by the man he called Uncle Joe.

Finally, there is Winston Churchill. He drank A LOT, so much so that he's probably drunk in this photo. He liked Roosevelt but detested Stalin because he saw him for what he was. He was asked once why he was willing to fight on the side of the Soviet dictator. He responded that if he had to ally himself with Satan in order to beat the Germans, he would at least give him favorable mention in the House of Commons. In July of that year, the British people would toss him out of office like the fire extinguisher that just saved your house from destruction.

This is what it's like to be in my head.

Oh, and you're going to see this picture again. Soon.

The Devil's Footprints, February 8, 1855

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Heal Thyself

Rev. Ted Haggard has been fixed. He's the guy who caused quite a stir by admitting that he had relations with a male prostitute. Now, after some intensive therapy, he's completely heterosexual.

Uhuh.

For the record, let me state that I believe a one-time homosexual experience does not make a person gay. I can't imagine doing that myself, but I know it happens; in Haggard's case, he may have been high on meth at the time. No matter what, I don't think we can ever know what's in the minister's heart. One thing is certain, however: if he is indeed gay, then no amount of "rehab" can cure him.

There is no doubt in my mind that 95% of the homosexual people on the planet were born that way. The remainder are either abused as children, crying for attention, getting back at their parents, etc. That five percent may be susceptible to the influence of a church, etc., but for the remaining 95%, they are as likely to become heterosexual as I am to become gay.

The Washington Naval Treaty Signed, February 6, 1922

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Welcome To The February Revolution

Senator Hillary Clinton:

Yesterday Exxon declared the biggest profit in the entire history of capitalism — $39 billion — and that did not escape Hillary's notice. Today she promised to tax Exxon on those huge profits, and tax those greedy capitalist pigs big time. Here's her quote:

"I want to take those profits and put them into an alternative energy fund that will begin to fund alternative smart energy alternatives that will actually begin to move us toward the direction of independence."

Seize a private company's profits under the guise of taxation? Wow. How about the profits from Her Highness' last book? Just a thought. G. Gordon Liddy used to call the Senator a Marxist-Leninist---and I thought he was just doing it for shock value.

Hey, Democrats: this lady is your problem. You're going to end up with exactly the President you deserve.

Da Bears Da Lost

I doubt there will be any rioting in Indy tonight---the city is just too spread out for an uneducated, underdeveloped mob to gather without difficulty. Chicago's another story....

Am I the only one who thinks the commercials this year were a big letdown?

Oh, The Awful Truth

Go-To Guy

After four years of active duty in the Navy during the Korean War, my dad stayed in the reserves until 1963. During his reserve weekend duty and two weeks per year obligations, he often worked with men who had been in the reserves their entire career and had never really gained the experience necessary to be proficient in their rate, or job classification. I don't mention this as a knock against those men; rather, the Navy's training methods failed to make these men ready for war. As a result, dad had to often help men on watch and once was woken up in the middle of the night to help a man who outranked him do a procedure that should have been second nature to anyone in his rate. As has happened many times since, dad became the go-to guy.

When I joined the Navy many years later, I wanted to be that guy. I wanted someone to say, "Go get Dattilo, he can take care of it." It never happened, for no other reason than I did not work hard enough to become proficient at what I did. I wasn't an abject failure or anything, but I was not the person people came to with problems.

I suppose I have an enormous ego, but I have never lost the desire to be the guy who is a recognized expert at something. No matter what I've done in my life, I have always known people who are better at it than I am. This has allowed me to learn a lot by watching these people, but I have never become one of them.

This has been on my mind a lot over the past 48 hours, because something has happened. I can't discuss the details now, but suffice it say that people have been paying attention for far longer than I imagined.

Something is finally paying off.

The Day The Music Died, February 3, 1959

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The Nome Serum Run, February 2, 1925

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Upward Trends

The Chinese must be growing guys like this. Pituitary problem? Puhleeze!!! Just wait---in a year or two, you'll see an 8' 4" guy with three arms sign with the NBA.

One question: how does he sit in a car?